Online Dating – Open Wounds


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I was having a chat with a friend on New Year’s Eve. I’ve known this friend since he was in high school and I was in college. We were talking about how long its been since we caught up and talked about meeting up for lunch. I agreed. Out of the blue, he made a comment about me not attending his graduation.

“What in the world?”, I thought to myself. “Is this guy serious?”

This is probably something that happened 4-5 years ago and he has never brought this up before. I was caught off guard but it was obvious that it bothered him and he had some unsettled issues. I had to tell him that if I remember correctly, I had to attend my sister in law’s graduation and apologized for not being able to attend. He wasn’t satisfied. I ended the conversation.

A lot of online dating sites are based on compatibility and matches. They do this by utilizing the lengthy questionnaire you complete during registration. After going through several online dating registrations, you are frequently asked what I call “situational” questions. It takes you back to certain scenarios and may ask you how comfortable you are in that situation. This may take you back to open wounds which are unresolved. Similar to my friend, he bottled in his disappointment in me all these years for missing his graduation. Instead of letting it go, he caused harm in our friendship.

Have you been hurt in a past relationship? How are those wounds impacting how you feel about yourself? Has it affected relationships in recent memory? It would be beneficial to sort these out before trying a new relationship. The last thing you would want is to throw yourself into a new relationship when you are not ready.