eharmony – who questions

I’m going to start a new tidbit section on answering quick questions which has been piling up but not enough to warrant it’s own post. I will break this down to who, what, when, why, how, are, where, and which. You will soon get what I am doing. In this section, I will start with the ‘who’ questions. If you have additional questions, feel free to leave them in the comments section:

Who uses eharmony?

eharmony is primarily used by people who are interested in getting into a serious relationship. They are less interested in flings and are looking for a long term partner ultimately getting married. The userbase tends to be slightly older than or dating apps such as Tinder.

Who started eharmony?

eharmony was founded by Dr. Neil Clark Warren. He is an American clinical psychologist. He also has a theology (Christian) degree from Princeton Theological Seminary. He patented a method to match people called “29 dimensions of compatibility” which is based on four categories – character and constitution, personality, emotional make up and skills, and family and values. He founded eharmony┬á in 2000. Throughout, he has been involved on and off and finally stepped down as CEO in July 2016.

Who sends the first communication request?

While eharmony uses its patented matching method to match two profiles, it is unclear who has the option to initiate the questions. Dr. Warren himself didn’t make this clear but encouraged everyone to go ahead and send all of your matches questions. Sending a question should not be considered aggressive. It is merely the initial step in the ‘get to know each other’ process. However, Dr. Warren does warn that the person receiving the questions may reject it and it may hurt. He wants you to focus on the prize, which is finding your life partner.

Who Pays in eHarmony?

There are two eharmony membership types – paid and free members. Previously, free members had extremely limited access to any communication tools. All free eharmony members could see were their matches. If they wanted to initiate communication, they would be directed to a paid membership. In the last few years, eharmony has allowed even free members to initiate communication with their matches. However, free members have never been able to see their matches pictures. Aside from that it doesn’t matter if you are young or old, male or female, you will have to pay if you want to see pictures of your matches and initiate communication.

Who makes the first move?

There is no rule in terms of who makes the first move. In the offline world, some may still feel that men should make the first move. But in eharmony, anyone can initiate communication. As Dr. Warren said in the above article, one should not think too hard when making the first move. It shouldn’t be made to the equivalent of asking someone out. You will have to go through numerous steps and stages before you can actually go on a date.

Who has viewed me?

There is no way to tell who has viewed your profile. I recall a few years ago there were rumors that certain apps in Facebook will allow you to see who have looked at your profile. The app was tremendously popular as the condition to enable this feature you had to share and like the Facebook page. Well it turned out to be a hoax. Facebook publicly said that users will not have such access to see who has looked at your profile. The only social media site I know of which has such feature is Linkedin. Even so, you can see who has viewed you only if the user has enabled the feature. Of course Linkedin is not Facebook or eharmony. Although some people use Linkedin as eharmony. That is the topic for another time.


That was fun! Next, I will do a Q/A on ‘what’ questions!


eHarmony 50% off discount survey

Today, I received an email for a 50% off subscription coupon code after completing a survey. The Survey was a bit long but the discount promotion code was available immediately after the survey. What is more important, is that you are given an opportunity to share your feedback and help eHarmony improve on their services.

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Can you ever try eHarmony for free?

eharmony for freeMany people wonder if it is possible to give a free trial to eHarmony’s online dating service. The answer is yes and no. As consumers, we are spoiled with previews, free tasting, and can almost return anything we buy if we are not satisfied with the product as long as we follow the return policy. This is somewhat similar to online dating sites. We will outline in full detail what is free on eHarmony and what isn’t.

Free on eHarmony

  1. Without an account
    • Relationship Advice – eHarmony provides a section where you can read up on dating advice. It is very comprehensive and oftentimes has articles written by professional psychologists and dating experts.
    • Dating Advice – not only does eHarmony provide advise on relationships, they also give advice on dating in general. It features articles on being
    • Success Stories – Real people, real results. eHarmony stands by their compatibility formula and often feature real couples with real pictures who met through eHarmony. They also provide lengthy testimonials and even video stories which are all free. You can also browse through different categories where you can read pages upon pages of real testimonies!
    • Tips on using eHarmony – Each online dating site has its own unique feature. eHarmony has a section outside its sign in page where you can read on different topics on how to use it. It has tips on how to select your profile picture, its guided communication, explanation of different features, and how to use its features such as messages, settings, and advise.

  2. With an account
    • eHarmony Compatibility Matching System┬« – you will get to go through their patented extensive registration questionnaire. Beware, this portion takes several hours. This is the part where you don’t want to casually breeze by it. Take your time and answer the questions truthfully. Trust me. You will want to be truthful here if you want the matching system to work properly.
    • A profile – this is the first step in your online dating journey. Once you get through registration, you will have a profile. You can further customize your profile by adding a picture and further answer questions for your matches to review.
    • The “You” book – This is the result of the questionnaire. You will be able to review your attributes based on Agreeableness, Openness, Emotional Stability, Conscientiousness, and Extraversion. It is actually a very detailed analysis based on the answers you gave.
    • Get Matched – With an account, you will be able to get matched with people who are compatible with you based on their patented matching system. With a free account, you will not be able to see pictures, but will be able to see general information such as first name, job title, height, age, location, religious affiliation, education level, and where they attended school. On the right of their general profile, you will be able to send a ‘message’ through their guided communication and send a smile which is like a ‘poke’ or a ‘flirt’.
    • Limited communication – You may receive quick questions but will only be able to send quick questions during ‘Free Communication Weekends‘.

Paid Subscription on eHarmony

  1. Pictures – with a paid subscription on eHarmony, you can finally get to see pictures of your matched profiles.
  2. “What If” feature – This is a new feature where you can see additional matches beyond those you are initially matched with. You can also review who viewed your profile, view matched photos, see when your matches last logged in, send and receive communication.
  3. Send and receive unlimited messages – with a paid subscription service, you can send as many quick questions to your matches as you wish.


Then when is it ever free?

eHarmony actually has a little known policy where you can cancel your subscription within 3 days and you will get a full refund. The catch is this, you will never be able to get through the 4 step guided communication process in 3 days. In other words, you will never get the opportunity to reach the point where you can get a contact number or full name of someone you are interested in. However, you will be able to see pictures of the matches you received in those 2 days.

To maximize the use of your 3 days, you can create a free profile, use free communication weekend to start communicating with your matches, then subscribe to see their photo.